(It’s like 8800 km)
"In that perfectly clear place, I noticed for the first time the shadows of birds in the sky above"
#free_69min: ghibli! i worked really hard on these puns okay
A HILARIOUS excerpt from the Iwatobi-Samezuka Joint Practice Drama CD that came with the Volume 1 DVD released today (credit goes to fencer-x for the audio rip ^^)
First, some context: the Iwatobi gang was testing out a camera recording and the video playback got messed up for some reason and reigisa shenanigans happen LOL
Haruka: Rei, what’s wrong?
Rei: When I try to playback the recording, the video camera is…!!!
[pushes play] [incoherent fuzzy noise]
Rei: UGHHH it just won’t go back to normal!
Makoto: Let me see!
Rei’s Voice: NO….WATER!!!!!!
Makoto: It’s no good…seems like it’s completely broken…
Nagisa: Hey, let me check it out too~
Rei’s voice: NO….WATERRRR!!!! NO WATER!!!!!!
[Nagisa continues to play Rei’s same line over and over]
Rei’s Voice: NO NO NO WATER WATERRRRR!!! NO WATER!!!!!
[Haru freaks out]
Rei’s Voice (continued): NO WATER NO WATER NOOOOOO WATERRRRR!!!!!!
[Nagisa continues to play Rei’s voice over and over again]
Makoto: This line is putting Haru through a lot of pain! Stop it, Nagisa!
Nagisa: Ehhh?? Oh…uh…then….uhhhhHH UHHHH….
[pushes play again]
Rei’s Voice: WATER WATER WATER WATER WATER
Nagisa: Just…a little bit more…
[pushes play again]
Rei’s Voice: WATER WATERRRRR
Nagisa: Oh yeah, just like this…
Rei’s Voice (in seductive slow motion): Water…….waaaatttteeerrrrrr……
[Haruka freaks out again]
Makoto: Hey wait…Haru~!!!
Nagisa: Hehe, how about a little bit more…
Rei: PLEASE STOP PLAYING AROUND!
NAGISA YOU LITTLE SHIT WANTING TO LISTEN TO YOUR BOYFRIEND’S VOICE OVER AND OVER AND TORMENTING HARU LOL AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW NAGISA’S LINES MAKE HIM SOUND LIKE HE’S DOING THE DO WHILE LISTENING TO REI’S VOICE LOL!?
There is no one in this world who can’t be replaced. A person might have enormous knowledge or ability, but a successor can almost always be found. It would be terrible for us if the world were full of people who couldn’t be replaced.
Haruki Murakami, 1Q84 (via only-a-voice)
HEADLINE: ANNOYING PALEFACEBAGOFPISS TAKES A PUBLIC SHIT ON VIETNAMESE CULTURE BY USING ANGEL HAIR PASTA IN HER “PHOE” WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY MOCKING “ASIAN” ACCENTS
allow me to share some precious gems from her recipe:
- literally the only ingredients of the soup part are: 1. chicken broth 2. ginger and 3. garlic. THAT’S IT. like. she didn’t even use ANY spices??
- - -??? how do you call this pho if you don’t use pho spices. they are essential. ESSENTIAL. that is what makes it taste and smell like pho. it is 100% necessary, 100% non-negotiable
- "1/2 pound angel hair pasta" i’m too tired for this shit
- basil leaves? you’ve gotta specify thai basil (or la hue) or your white audience is gonna go home and make fucking italian ass basily angel hair pasta spaghetti drowned in chicken broth
- lime zest.. chill rachael
- braised.pork.shoulder. in pho. shredded pork. in pho.
DON’T watch the video if you don’t want to end up throwing your computer in the trash. a selective summary:
- repeatedly butchers the pronunciation of pho, calls it “phoe” at least 6 times, shamelessly
- when she explains what the hot sauce is she puts on a mocking asian accent and says “SRIRACHAAA” WITH THAT BUCKTEETH FUCKING CHINAMAN THING PPL DO
- "Trust me, if you’ve never tried it, it’s so easy to make a big beautiful bowl of PHOE. And it’d be so much fun for your kids or your friends. You can entertain with it. I like to put chopsticks in it and serve it with a slurpy soup spoon along side."
- —no. it shouldn’t be easy unless you’ve been making it for a long time. it should NOT be easy if you’re someone that CANT EVEN PRONOUNCE THE NAME OF THE THING YOU’RE MAKING ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.
- —even for my MOM, MY VIETNAMESE MOTHER BORN AND RAISED IN VIETNAM, it’s still a whole lot of work!!! i have been studying and practicing making it for years now and it still takes me DAYS to make. D A Y S
- —“I like to put chopsticks in it” oh do you? that’s just your preference? weird coincidence. huh
- —slurpy spoon
- —“You can entertain with it” “it’d be so much fun for your kids or your friends.” LISTEN WHITEY. YOU DON’T JUST GO AROUND BRINGING HOME PARTS OF OTHER PPL’S CULTURES TO ENTERTAIN YOUR BRAT CHILDREN AND UGLYPALE FRIENDS WITH. OOOOO THE ORIENT. HOW FASCINATING. LOOK AT THIS WEIRD SHIT THOSE CHINKS EAT HAHAHA WOW SO WEIRD SO ORIENTAL
(thanks to @sweetheartpleasestay for tipping us off on this)
LMAO I CAN’T
Once you pass a certain age, life becomes nothing more than a process of continual loss. Things that are important to your life begin to slip out of your grasp, one after another, like a comb losing teeth. And the only things that come to take their place are worthless imitations. Your physical strength, your hopes, your dreams, your ideals, you convictions, all meaning, or, then again, the people you love: one by one, they fade away.
Haruki Murakami, 1Q84 (via only-a-voice)
- Me: Hey, so have you ever played chess before?
- Girl: Yeah, yeah, I've played before.
- Me: Oh, okay. I haven't really played.
- Girl: Hang on, is this board backward?
- Me: No, it's correct...
- Girl: Are you sure?
- Me: Yeah, I'm pretty sure. a1 is your left corner.
- Girl: Are you sure you put your queen on the correct square? I thought the king was supposed to be on the left.
- Me: It depends on what color you're playing as.
- Girl: Wait, before we start, how do you castle again?
- Me: [teaches her how to castle]
- Girl: Oh, okay, got it. [Game starts. A few moves later, she tries to castle over a queen.]
- Me: You can't do that. Your queen's in the way.
- Girl: Really? Oh bummer.
- [The game continues and we're the last ones left in the classroom aside from the professor. Eventually I win and she only has a pawn and her king left.]
My Least Favorite Trope (and this post will include spoilers for The Lego Movie, Guardians of the Galaxy, The Matrix, Western Civilization, and—cod help me—Bulletproof Monk*.) is the thing where there’s an awesome, smart, wonderful, powerful female character who by all rights ought to be the Chosen One and the hero of the movie, who is tasked with taking care of some generally ineffectual male character who is, for reasons of wish fulfillment, actually the person the film focuses on. She mentors him, she teaches him, and she inevitably becomes his girlfriend… and he gets the job she wanted: he gets to be the Chosen One even though she’s obviously far more qualified. And all he has to do to get it and deserve it is Man Up and Take Responsibility.
And that’s it. Every god-damned time. The mere fact of naming the films above and naming the trope gives away the entire plot and character arc of every single movie.
he sounds so fucking worried and it hurts